26

 ‘Life is the sum of the stories you can tell.’

I have truly believed and embodied this as a life goal: to be a storyteller, an explorer, a curious mind, and a wandering soul. To fulfill this, I have chased experiences, made 100s of friends, travelled to numerous places, seen endless documentaries, read 1000s of books and spent a quarter of my life trying to hear, see, observe, and know stories that make this world as unique as it is. While this rollercoaster has been truly exciting and has elevated my life, there was one little story that I missed discovering.

This story is more important than any I have ever known. This story is one I live with every day. The story I sleep to and the one I wake up with. The story that I seek in discomfort and the story that makes me smile when I’m upset. The story that is being written for the past 26 years, within me, within my mind, my body, and my heart. The story of my life, my habits, my beliefs, my fears, my triggers, my insecurities, my patterns, my core, and my identity. Now is the time to take the lens and turn it inwards. There are numerous worlds that exist within me, how did I forget?

This year, I promise. I promise to accept myself: for my anger, for my overthinking, my need for perfection, my stretchmarks, my white hair, my phone addiction, and my social awkwardness.

I promise to acknowledge myself: for my dedication, for my resilience, for my super-fast brain, for my hard work, my optimism, my endless curiosity, and my exceptional ability to make conversations.

I promise to understand myself: for my fears, my love-hate relationship with my body, my fear of vulnerability and my hyper independence.

I promise to forgive myself: for setting the standards too high and not allowing myself the space to fail, for denying myself the time to rest, and for putting the needs of others before the needs of myself.

I commit to celebrating myself: for being great at my job, for being able to sponsor my endless interests, for being a great friend, for being disciplined, for being a good sister and a decent daughter.

And I promise to never ever let my own story go unheard, unseen, and unloved. I promise to discover this unique world inside of me and giving it the space to rest, grow and just exist. I promise to love myself even if I feel unlovable, feeling safe in my imperfections, and to take care of myself even on days when I feel like I don’t deserve it (because I always deserve it). I promise to be prouder of the journey than the milestones and measure life be moments of presence and calm. I promise to spend time with my scars and my smiles, my triggers, and my truths. I choose kindness, curiosity, compassion, empathy, friendship, and endless love, for myself first before giving it out into the world. I commit to loving myself as much as I can... always... all ways.

Life is the sum of the stories you can tell, and it’s time for me to explore the most fucking kickass story that’s ever been.

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